Never Meant to Be
by Sahrah Marmlade-Leonhart
Summary: The blue-eyed boy is oblivious to the Monster's presence until that night when he whispers three fateful words. Three words that change everything. He didn't even really whisper them. He breaths them. 'I love you.' SephiCloud YAOI. M for sex and death.


Ummm, okay, so I wrote this for a poetry contest. Only, it was about two pages shorter and there was almost no mention of the friend, and less details about sex. _**By the way, this is YAOI.**_ There is very little description, only mentions and mostly feelings about the situation. But like it or not, THERE ARE TWO MEN KISSING. AND HAVING SEX. AND BEING IN LOVE. PROBLEM WITH IT? THEN GO CRY IN A CORNER, YOU HOMOPHOBE. For the record, I warned you.

Also, this is a _**ONESHOT**_. I'M WORKING ON 'ONE STEP FORWARD' AND IT WILL BE DONE ON TIME. IF IT'S NOT, TELL MY EDITOR TO KILL ME. SHE WILL GLADLY DO SO.

I also do not own any of the unnamed characters. But in case you couldn't guess, the blue-eyed person is Cloud, green-eyed man is Sephiroth, and the violet-eyed man is Zack. It's about Sephiroth and Cloud's love/hate relationship, because love/hate is dramatic and exciting. This basically leads up to Sephiroth's initial death, from before Zack and Cloud escape from ShinRa. Well... Cloud does, and I guess Zack does, te--I'M DONE TALKING.

* * *

It starts as something simple  
An introduction  
By a mutual friend

A friend with violet eyes, which isn't exactly relevant.

The older man smiles distantly  
His pale, masculine face offset by  
Brilliant green eyes  
Which seem deep and hiding a tortured soul  
A bit cliché for a meeting such as this, but true nonetheless.  
The younger man, a mere child, gives his greetings  
His innocent and cherubic face  
Enhancing his cerulean stare  
Their friend grins and proposes a night of drinking  
Or something along those lines.

_It gets more complicated._  
They pass in the crowded hallway  
Cat-like emerald eyes meeting  
Wide blue ones.  
The younger man blushes and averts his eyes  
Quickening his pace  
As his heart throbs in his chest.

_The thoughts won't stop._  
The older man sits for long hours  
Wondering what the boy—  
He refers to the innocent young man as a boy—  
Might be doing at that moment  
What he's thinking.

Hoping the boy is thinking of the man with green eyes.  
Those blue eyes seem to see  
Far past his skin  
And into his heart  
The emerald-eyed man shivers.  
He doesn't want the anyone to see  
What lies in there.

_They don't stop._  
Soon they start meeting  
Halfway by accident  
And halfway on purpose  
They seek each other out  
Sapphire eyes and emerald ones.  
The innocent, wide-eyed youth  
Blushes and smiles  
A bit afraid of the forbidden infatuation  
Growing in his heart.

_They don't want to stop._  
It starts with a late night  
The older man might claim he is not sober

Sometime after the fact

Which is a lie, because no alcohol can knock that man into a state of stupor

Or drunkenness of any kind

No matter what.

The younger man would have simply blushed and looked at the floor

And both will deny

The sinful passion  
The white-hot intensity  
That beautiful, horrible deed  
That had took place under  
Silken sheets  
In the dead of night.

_They can't stop._  
The much-denied pleasure  
Continues in secret  
Maybe the blue-eyed youth will end up in  
The older man's apartment  
Or maybe they'll end up  
In the younger man's room  
On a night when his roommate is out  
Either way  
They can't stop  
Maybe it's love  
Although behind the green eyes is something corrupt.  
Purely carnal.  
Something he can barely control  
Something not even beautiful blue eyes can heal.

_They might be in love_

But no one could say for sure

All they know is that

The lips on heated skin

The spasms of pleasure

The seductive touches in the dark

And slide of fingers on quivering flesh

The feeling of being whole

The pounding of hearts threatening to break out of heaving chests

The rushing of a pulse as sensual lips nip at the neck

For a moment in time

As the passion and heat reaches peak

And the lovers meet their release at the same instant

The internal terror, the monster, is silent

And the emerald-eyed man

Loves the man with eyes like the sky

And the man with blue eyes

Would be so, so happy

For them to melt together

And never be apart

They hold each other, panting, exhausted

_Completed_

Stark naked under satin sheets.

_Things are always complicated._  
Fear of being found out  
And the thrill of a forbidden affair  
Drive both men to the brink of a happy kind of madness  
The days in between encounters—  
That's what the men call their passionate nights, encounters—  
Are long and empty  
And every day  
The emerald-eyed man loses a bit more control  
Over the Monster he feels lurking.  
That's what he calls it  
_The Monster_  
Which would rather pin the younger man to the mattress  
And make him cry and scream and thrash

This demon which would prefer to steal everything

That the beautiful child held dear  
Than the gentle man who only wanted to hold his lover close

Kiss him softly, lace his fingers together with his own

Make love to him  
And shield him from the world

And maybe from the Monster.

_They don't know what they're doing._  
The blue-eyed boy is oblivious  
To the Monster's presence  
Until that night  
When he whispers three fateful words.  
Three words that change everything.

He didn't even really whisper them  
He breathed them  
Such tiny phrases  
Into his lover's ear  
_"I love you."_

_He doesn't know what to do._  
The cerulean orbs spill over with tears  
As he tell himself not to cry  
It's almost over  
Soon he'll be gone  
Soon he can rest  
Soon he can forget  
Soon, he tells himself  
_Maybe._

_Everything changes too fast._

In a matter of hours, the man with blue eyes can see

Nothing will be the same again

That mutual friend from long ago

Is ready to defend them both

But neither one expects

What is to come in the next few flashes of time

The friend, with fierce violet eyes and a hidden fear

Is knocked away by the Monster.

The man with blue eyes can't tell

If the violet-eyed friend is dead

Or if his lover can even hear his voice

The sapphire-eyed boy loves the emerald eyed man.

The sapphire-eyed boy hates the Monster.

The Monster has taken the green-eyed man away.

_"Give them all back!"_

_He knows what he must do._  
He doesn't know if he can do it.  
The man with blue-eyes knows  
That his lover is gone  
And the Monster is free  
Hungry for blood, for flesh  
Hungry for _anything_  
He knows only he can do it  
It shouldn't be so easy to take a life  
But the Monster has taken  
So many people that the innocent man held dear

Possibly even the friend with violet eyes

He remembers seeing terror

In brown eyes and blue eyes and hazel eyes and violet eyes

At the hands of the Monster.

But those terrified people never knew the beautiful man

That used to dwell in that godly body.

All they know is his lust for blood

All they know is a Monster.

The man with eyes like the sky bites his lip.

He promises to avenge these people

With many different eyes

He will take vengeance for all the people that the Monster has destroyed.  
Including the man with green eyes. _Especially_ him.  
He is another terrible loss to avenge.

_It's too late to turn back._

The innocent child, this young man, this blue-eyed boy

In one instant, he is no longer docile, submissive, or quiet

But angry, hurt, betrayed

And so lost

So, so lost inside himself

Suddenly, everything is expected of him

And he knows

He has to become strong

He has to become brave

He has to _become_.

He is angry. All his feelings of love are gone

This man who stole his heart

Who made love to him

Who comforted him and held him

Was his enemy.

A traitor.

A liar.

_I'll kill you…"_ hisses the sapphire-eyed man. Venomous and bitter.

The Monster laughs and the younger man feels his heart break

For the millionth time in that one minute

There is no light in those green eyes

Not anymore.

_"Come to me, my puppet,"_ laughs the Monster

Using the man with green eyes as a vessel

A host

The Monster is a virus. Corrupting, changing, stealing.

_"I am **not **your puppet."_

He loved this man.

This man, who loved him, and held him, and touched him, and kissed him.

This man who became an enemy.

A murderer.

A puppeteer.

_A monster._

The victory is hollow.  
_"To think I loved __**you**!"_ screams the blue-eyed boy  
And his words pierce through the Monster  
Into the heart of the green-eyed man  
Who are one and the same

Having reached an equilibrium

As the darkness of the Monster swallowed

The man with green eyes.

They are one. But the words impale only the man

With the emerald eyes

With the heart

With the memory of their passion

Of their plans.

For a moment, the green eyes are his alone, and his eyes display only

_Regret_.  
But it is too late  
And there's no time  
And the Monster with green eyes  
_Falls._

_It started out so simple._  
An introduction  
Then a meeting  
Then a night of passion  
And then another  
And then the Monster took away the emerald-eyed man  
Who loved the innocent boy with all his heart

With whom the boy was so in love.  
Two years passed.

The violet-eyed friend lived

To die another day

To save another life

Maybe to save thousands

Either way, the blue-eyed man

Had run out.

He was tired.

His love was gone.

His friend was gone.  
The innocent boy is no longer innocent  
He hardened his heart  
In order to protect it.

_"Please forgive me."_  
Three words that change everything  
The man with green eyes is back

He's on the doorstep in the rain.

A bit cliché for a meeting such as this, but true nonetheless.  
He does not cry; not that he ever did in the past.

Maybe he was incapable of tears.  
And he sees for the first time  
How much has changed in the boy.  
His former lover, no longer a child.  
With hardened cerulean eyes an intense gaze, and no weakness.  
His teeth are clenched  
And he is _angry_.

_What have I done?_  
The guilt rips through the emerald-eyed man's mind  
As a snarl escapes the lips of the sapphire-eyed man.  
He lunges and beats his fists against the other man's chest and howls his rage and his hurt.  
Instead of retaliating, the green-eyed man grabs his flailing fists and stops him.

He does not fight back

The green-eyed man does not deserve to fight back.

Instead, the blue-eyed man's attack slows, and his shoulders shake with sobs

Tears escaping beautiful, healing eyes

He sags against his lover-turned-enemy

Held up by him

Held in his arms,

_Hating _that he still can't stand on his own.

The man with green eyes embraces the younger man,  
Silencing his sobs with a fierce kiss.  
_"Why are you here?"_ the whisper is bitter and angry  
_"I want to be forgiven."_ The reply is swift and monotone.  
_"No. I can't do that. It's too late for that."_  
The older man lets go, albeit quite reluctantly.

_"It's not like I deserve your forgiveness."_  
They kiss deeply. A kiss of wet, hot, dark, overwhelming sadness.  
_A kiss of goodbye._

_Their last kiss._

_"I love you."_ They both say it.

Hating himself for being weak, the man with blue eyes cries.

Hating himself for being unable to cry, the man with green eyes holds him.

_"Goodbye."_  
The man with green eyes leaves. He turns in time to see the entrance to the building slam shut.

The man with sapphire eyes leans against the door.

It won't open again.

He laughs darkly and falls to his knees

Tears streaming down his contorted face

In the poorly lit hallway.

Sobbing as the lights flicker on and off.

With a shaking hand, he reaches for the handle of the door.

He locks it.

It was never meant to be.


End file.
